Your Words, My World
by ThatsDebatable
Summary: Claire 'accidentally-on-purpose' finds Quil's journal and, unable to resist, begins to read it. She soon discovers that with each passage, she's finding it harder and harder to keep rejecting the one man she's dead-set against ever falling in love with...
1. Prologue

**A/N:** I've been physically restraining myself from starting any more stories, but I couldn't just leave this alone. Quil and Claire are just too adorable not to play with!

**Summary: **Quil writes down the highlights of each of Claire's birthdays so he will never forget them. He decides to continue his little journal throughout her sixteenth year... and it just so happens that during that particular year, Claire was snooping around and found it. Deciding not to tell him, she lets him continue writing and goes back to read it every night. You'd be surprised at what you could find out about yourself when you're looking at it from another person's perspective.

* * *

_**Prologue**_

"Mom!" I yelled, searching frantically through every drawer, cupboard, and shelf I could reach. "Mom, where's my cell phone?"

"Where's the last place you saw it?" She replied, though of course I knew that's what she'd say. And then I'd tell her the last place I saw it was at Quil's house and she'd force me to go over there to get it and make up with him like she's been begging me to do for a friggin' week.

"Uh..." I stalled, trying to think of a place a normal 16 year old girl leaves their cell phone on a regular basis. A sixteen year old girl who hadn't spent every waking moment of her life with a giant werewolf protector watching her every step. "Maybe at that bonfire last week?"

"Claire Young!" My mother shouted in that tone that could only mean I was about to be given a severe tongue-lashing. Every mom does it. You know what I'm talking about.

"You had better _not _be telling me that you lost your very expensive phone- that_ I_ paid for- an entire week ago and aren't informing me about it until now!"

"I haven't needed to use it!" I tried to reason. "Winry and Elisha are at that environmental camp thing where they aren't allowed to use technology, you've had the week off work, and Qu-" I bit my tongue before I could say his name. "And there's no one else I've wanted to speak to."

Of course she noticed my slip up.

"Missy, if you are just trying to get out of going over there, it is not going to work. You are being immature about this entire situation. Get over there _right now_ and find that phone before I get him to bring it over here himself!"

"Were you _ever_ a teenager? God! I'm _never_ going to treat my kids this way!" I grabbed my sweater (even though it was still August- thank you, Washington State) and shoved my feet into the closest pair of shoes I could find. "I'll be back soon. _Very_ soon!"

"Of _course_ you will," My mom told me in a very sarcastic tone, walking into my room and rolling her eyes at me. "Now, please don't be rude to him, hon. He really didn't do anything wrong. If you'd just-"

"Why don't you go marry Quil, then, if you think he's such a saint?!" I exclaimed, storming down the hall and practically ripping the front door off of it's hinges in my haste to get out of there. "Oh wait, I forgot- you don't have a bunch of little wolf-babies in your ovaries so he probably won't like you. Good thing I'm just loaded up with them."

"You know that's not true, Claire!"

I ignored that last comment and began the short walk over to Quil's house, pausing only to reach under the welcome mat and pull out the spare key.

Once inside, I started looking for the stupid phone right away. I found it just where I thought it'd be- on top of his old coffee table. I picked it up, accidentally knocking a book open onto the floor in the process.

My name, written in Quil's messy script, caught my eye. Unable to curb my curiosity, I picked it up and read the short passage.

_**Age 3**_

_I must say, purple eyeshadow is definitely __not my color._

_I wouldn't say red lipstick is, either. Or pink blush._

_I'm also not a huge fan of feather boas, tutus, ribbons, and tiaras. But..._

_It's worth it, Claire. If I had to jump off the highest building in the world to see you smile like that just once, I would. Luckily for me, it only takes a little makeover- courtesy of Emily, Kim, Leah, and Rachel- to make you grin like that._

_I got you a Quileute promise bracelet as a gift. Though many people believe that it's to be given to your... 'romantic' partner, the real tradition is that it's to be given to the one who is most important to you._

_I'm sure it goes without saying who the most important girl in my life is, Claire. You vowed you'd never take it off, and though of course you'll grow out of it sooner or later, I would be lying if I said that my heart didn't burst with joy when you told me your promise._

.

I glanced down at my wrist, to the promise bracelet Quil had adjusted time and time again so it would always fit me. The string was old, and I was constantly trying to keep it from breaking. I couldn't remember ever not wearing it... it was almost like it was part of my body now. Had I really received it so long ago?

I meant to put the book back down, but the next heading caught my eye. And the next, and the next...

_**Age 4**_

_You ran off on your mom today. I was so scared that I phased- I love how I can say that, as if you know what any of it means right now- and ran off on a wild goose chase to find you. You were hiding just where I thought you'd be, under the giant tree with the branches that sway so low you feel like you're in a fort._

_I phased back when I realized you weren't even scared- you just ran up to me and asked me if it was time to go home. I didn't ask what game you had been playing. I just nodded and brought you back._

_Please, don't ever scare me like that again. You know I couldn't live without you._

_._

_**Age 5**_

_I was putting you down for a nap today when I realized just how amazing you really are. How did this earth get blessed with such an angel? How in the world was I ever considered good enough to be the one chosen to protect you?_

_Your steady breathing calms me, fills me with something that makes me feel like I have a purpose. As long as you keep breathing, I know I'm doing something right..._

_Your heart beats in sync with mine. I don't know if it's a coincidence, or part of all the magic, but it's true. Your sound of your heartbeat is louder to me than any other noise I hear. I don't think that is part of the magic, though. It's just the most important thing in the world to me. It's a matter of survival._

_._

_**Age 6**_

_You turn six today. The guys all say it must be torture for me, having to wait so long for you. I couldn't even imagine putting you and torture in the same sentence. Every moment with you, even if it's a screaming match or a temper tantrum, is always one of the best moments my life. It never feels like you're growing up too slowly. I cherish the time we spend together. Don't worry, no other person in the world will own my heart like you do. I don't want you to be anyone but my Claire._

_._

_**Age 7**_

_You told me you hate me for the first time today. __Hate. I very nearly died at that moment. What's the point of my existence if you don't want me to be part of yours? I left, knowing that I shouldn't have raised my voice with you. You misbehave, like all children, but it tears me up inside to punish you. At the end of the day, your mom drove you over to my house and you apologized. I didn't understand why you were sorry. I was the one who did something wrong. I promise never to do anything that will make you feel that way again. You're heart is so pure- there's no place for hate inside of it._

_._

_**Age 8**_

_You won Best Sandcastle at First Beach today. I hope you know that you can always do whatever you put your mind to. No matter what it is, you're capable of anything and everything._

_I helped, but it was all your idea, of course. I'll do anything you ask of me, Claire bear, I swear it. Even if it means switching my shift so I can help you with your sand castle. I knew it was worth it when I saw your eyes shine when they gave you that blue ribbon. And it was even better when you cut the ribbon in half and gave part of it to me. You're unselfish and grateful and wonderful, Claire. I could not have asked for someone better to imprint on._

_._

_**Age 9**_

_Ruby McPherson._

_I will always remember that name, for she is the one that caused you to come home crying today._

_And it was all because of me. I'm so, so sorry my beautiful Claire. I never want to be the reason for your tears. But what could I have done differently to avoid this? I can't change my age, no matter how hard I try. It's impossible for me to get younger, or else I would in a moment. If you wanted me to, and it was possible, I would go back in time and be nine years old with you so no one could ridicule you anymore._

_But that's not what you want, is it? You like having a 'Big Uncle Quil'. You told me you don't care about stupid Ruby McPherson. You said I was your best friend in the world, and you wouldn't trade me in for a hundred Ruby's._

_I asked why you were crying, then, and you told me it was because she was making fun of __me!_

_I can take care of you, Claire, and still be strong enough to take care of myself as well. Though it's nice to know you care._

_._

_**Age 10**_

_Everyone agreed to tell you on your tenth birthday._

_About wolves, and vampires, and even that strange half-vampire girl that Jacob imprinted on. We decided to tell you now because you were still young enough to believe anything, but old enough to know not to tell anyone._

_You reacted better than I could have dreamed of, Claire. All smiles and giggles and questions. Luckily you didn't ask the one question I was dreading- the one about imprinting. I won't tell you that until you're more mature. It's a tricky subject to even explain to adults, let alone pre-teens that are starting to discover hormones and might think it means something that it doesn't- yet._

_Yet. I shuddered. That seems to be the key word everyone uses to describe the relationship between me and you, and it's wrong. I'm not __waiting for anything, Claire. I'm not counting down the days until you're eighteen and we can get married and have babies and live happily ever after. When I'm with you, I live for the moment, and everything is perfect just the way it is. That's a better key word. __Perfect._

_._

_**Age 11**_

_I took you for a ride today, after a year of begging. It's the night of your birthday, and we're running through the forest. Right now, nothing else matters._

_You were tentative, at first; almost scared. The phobia you have of heights is common knowledge- cliff diving was never an option for you. So of course, up on my back, you froze for a moment before relaxing. Then you didn't want to hurt me by grabbing onto my fur. I kill vampires on a regular basis, and you don't think I'm up for a little hair-pulling? You sure didn't seem to have an issue with it when you were younger and held onto my hair during shoulder rides._

_After a few minutes, we're flying through the dense forest, and you're just laughing your head off. Your laugh is like music to my ears, Claire. Do you know that? You can create music with nothing but a simple giggle._

_'Okay, okay, that's enough of the sentimental crap', Leah's voice suddenly told me, cutting off my sentimental... NON - crap. __I was told to tell you to bring Claire over to my house. Her mom's here, and she thinks one in the morning is a late enough curfew for a ten year old._

_She's eleven! I sneer back, but all I hear is __'Sheesh. Get a hobby!' and a ghost of a chuckle before Leah disappears from my head completely._

_I have hobbies, and I have priorities. Well, __priority. And she's still laughing like there's no tomorrow, which means I'm doing my job right._

_._

_**Age 12**_

_Oh, Claire. Your poor hormones._

_I can barely remember what it even feels like to have... __sexual urges. It sounds crude to say it, but it's exactly what those things are._

_Emily told me you talked to her. I'll have to establish some rules with you soon, before you try something that you'll regret._

_You have a crush on me. Those were your aunt's words. Not love, or werewolf magic imprinty-stuff, just a regular 12-year-old crush. It happens, I suppose. Your questions will be the end of me, though. Yes, I noticed your new hair cut. Uh-huh, your sweater is nice. No, I don't have a girlfriend. __And I'm definitely not interested in dating anyone right now._

_That's what you put me through, you crazy, silly girl! But I'll live with it because I love you. Even if it means putting up with the pack's remarks of 'Got a hot date soon, Quil?' and 'Looks like your girlfriend got a training bra,' and 'What's the plan for tonight, gonna go out for dinner at McDonald's? Hey, does Claire still get the Happy Meal?'._

_Of course you don't. You get a Quarter Pounder with cheese meal, with Coke, no ice._

_Hm. We really should plan a trip out to McDonald's again..._

_**Age 13**_

_How you've changed._

_All summer, I waited, agonized until it was time to see your perfect face again. I was at the airport an hour early so I would see you as soon as you got off the plane from your summer camp._

_I swear, you aren't the same person._

_You've grown curves- I hate to notice that kind of thing. But it's true; all breasts and hips and legs, catching the eye of any man you walk past. It's all I can do not to rip their throats out- I know what they're thinking._

_You're hair's longer, too. Halfway down your back, wavy, shiny. I can't stop staring. I feel disgusting, sick, and wrong to even look at you like that. So I grab your suitcase, hug you for a moment, and pull back as fast as I can without seeming rude._

_You looked hurt when I did that, but trust me, Claire, it's for the best. I would never do anything to hurt you unless I was sure it would be the right decision, in the long run._

_You grabbed my hand like always, but I pull away after some of the looks we get. I don't care what they think of me, of course. I care about you, and only you, and everything else- like how empty my hand feels without yours- is insignificant in comparison._

_._

_**Age 14**_

_I stole a kiss from you today._

_I knew I shouldn't have, and that Sam was going to come up and kill me afterwards, but I did it anyway._

_I suppose it wasn't stolen; you gave it to me willingly. It was raining (how cliche), everything was soaked, you were tired, and we were running to my truck so we could get out of the cold. I noticed you slowing down, and though of course I don't mind keeping pace with you, I knew you just wanted to get out of there so I picked you up and began carrying you._

_After a few minutes, I realized that your arms had twined themselves around my neck. I glanced down... and instantly regretted it. You were looking at me with an expression that was so fierce, primal... lustful?... I began to slow down and eventually I was just standing there with you in my arms, staring at you while rain continued to pour, and it made you look so beautiful and smell so good that when you leaned forward, I held you a little tighter and gently brushed my lips with yours._

_Oh. My. Lord._

_You tasted so good, and you felt so perfect in my arms, that that thing- yeah, __that thing- suddenly... well, I won't go into detail, even though no one will ever read this. But I was suddenly very aware of it. Yup, I remembered that it had a purpose other than just letting me pee._

_So, before things could get worse, I just said 'let's go home,' and carried you back to the truck. I guess, when I phased, the pack found out about it. I never tried to conceal it._

_But they either didn't care or just realized my true feelings, the ones of torment, guilt, and indecision, and let me carry on._

_._

_**Age 15**_

_I think I'm in love with you, Claire._

_You were laying next to me on the beach, being as tormentingly desirable as you have been lately, and you suddenly flipped over and asked me if I did._

_I told you no. When I saw tears spring to your eyes, I immediately felt guilty and wanted to tell you I was kidding. Am I in love with you?_

_Of __course I am. Of __course the only thoughts I ever have anymore are of me taking you and holding you and kissing you until neither of us can __breathe and not letting you go until I know you're mine forever._

_Which, quite frankly, makes me feel like some sick pedophile._

_So I told you that no, I didn't. I wouldn't, __couldn't love you._

_I feel terrible. I'm constantly reminding myself you're only fifteen. But you're so perfect, so beautiful… how could anyone not? I can't tell you the truth. I don't like keeping secrets from you, of course, but what am I supposed to say? You're still much, much too young. If I loved you even a tiny little bit less, I would be too selfish to hold back my true feelings. Luckily your heart is a thousand times more important than mine, Claire, and I could never do that to you._

_._

_**Age 16**_

_I should never have told you about imprinting. You jumped to conclusions, and now you're hurt because of it._

_You said I was forced into loving you, into spending time with you. How could I even consider imprinting to be something that forces me into loving __you, Claire? As if you wouldn't be my entire world anyway, even if the supernatural side of things didn't exist. Luckily, because of imprinting, I was able to realize that much sooner and spend your entire life with you. It's a blessing for me, Claire, how can't you see that?_

_I honestly don't know how you think I wouldn't have fallen in love you if it weren't for the whole 'wolf' detail. I'm convinced you're an angel sent down from the heavens. Every boy at your school agrees, or so I've been told- the reason I decided to inform you about imprinting, ironically. I don't ever want to share you._

_That is, if you ever become mine._

_Oh, Emily's calling._

_I think I'll write more this year, because I have a feeling it will be an interesting one, and not something I'll want to soon forget. 'Sweet' Sixteen? Oh, sure. I don't think it'll be quite so sweet..._

.

That was the last entry, dated exactly one week ago- the day of my birthday.

"Claire? Claire, is that you down there?" I heard a familiar voice boom from the top of the stairs. Scared out of my wits, I dropped the journal, grabbed my cell phone, and made a bee-line for the door.

_I won't tell him_, I thought to myself as I bolted home. _No, that would be a bad idea. And I'll try to convince myself that I'll never read it again, either...  
_


	2. Confusion

**Just to make for better, easier, more enjoyable reading...**

**I'm _not _going to write about her going there each night; each separate journal entry signifies a new day.**

**If he writes more than once during a day, I'll simply write 'Later' in between the two passages. I don't want to interrupt the flow of things by describing Claire's reaction every time she reads, so I'll try and keep most of her appearances at the beginning or the end of a chapter. **

**If that isn't clear, please PM me or leave a review.**

**Enjoy! I'll try to keep A/N's shorter from now on!**

* * *

Vibrate. Vibrate. Vibrate.

**_1 New Text Message. Read now?_**

I clicked yes, wondering who I was expecting to hear from. I'd been keeping pretty low-key recently...

_Hey C. It's Winry. Snuck my phone. Camp sux! No cute boys. Ttly not wrth it. Lucky u, getting 2 stay home w/ Mr. Hunk!_

Ugh.

_Hey Win,_ I typed quickly. _Sry bout camp. 'Mr. Hunk' is officially off my radar. Call me wen u can and I'll fill u in._

Well, to the best of my ability, anyway. Obviously, no matter how pissed I was, I wouldn't friggin tell the world about wolves... or vampires... or (I shuddered even thinking about it) imprinting...

Okay. Maybe, after I calmed down and thought about it and... read Quil's journal... I decided that imprinting wasn't so bad. Maybe I *slightly* overreacted when I told Quil to go shove the whole phenomenon up a place where the sun don't shine. But come on now. Put yourself in my shoes for like, a split second.

The guy you've been in love with since practically forever finally, _finally_ tells you that against every logical reason in the universe, he's in love with you too.

And proceeds to tell you he's done something called imprinted. Oh, you don't know about imprinting? I'll explain real quick. Werewolves- or shape shifters, more accurately- want to keep the doggy blood a flowin'. To ensure that happens, they form a bond- against their will, I may add- with a chick so that no matter what, a poor girl with some badass wolf genes is pretty much the only thing that matters to them anymore.

Translation: The guy's free will is taken away, and the girl knows that he only loves her 'cause he has to.

Romantic, right?

Bleh. Story of my life.

Anyway. Now on to some things that are actually interesting and not just me whining about a super hot werewolf dude that would practically die to save me.

Now, Quil 's patrol schedule always seemed strange to me. He told Jacob he'd work whenever- days, nights, and any time in between- as long as he was free from three in the afternoon til seven p.m. on weekdays. And on weekends, he always had no problem taking the shifts that the other guys hated- which was usually in the 6:00 - 11:00 zone, because they all had dates. Except him.

I always thought he was weird, and only hung out with me all the time because I was free whenever he wasn't working. How was I supposed to know it was because he had planned it that way? During summer, I always wondered how he could spend the entire day with me and still make time for work. He never told me he was usually getting about four hours sleep because he had to patrol half the night.

Yup, he seriously just told me that when I called him the other day to yell at him some more. How am I supposed to stay angry at a guy who would do that for me? He wasn't even trying to make me feel guilty. I had forced it out of him.

And that brings me to where I am now. Walking to Quil's, going to apologize.

And no, I'm NOT doing it just so I can read about it in his journal later on tonight. Geez, what kinda girl do you take me for?

*****Later on That Night*****

Shut up.

I opened the journal and began reading the new passage....s? He'd written right after I snuck out yesterday?

_August 10th_

_I miss you._

_So, so much my Claire. Can I still call you my Claire? Even though you don't want me anymore?_

_It would probably be accurate to call me completely useless at the moment. I know you visited just now- I heard the rhythm of your heart beating from outside, so I ran in to see you for the first time in seven days..._

_But I was too late. I can still smell you in the air. It's torture, sitting in here. But sweet torture. Ah, such sweet torture, indeed..._

_I'm assuming you came to pick up your phone; it's gone from the table. I was waiting for the perfect moment to call your house and tell you to come pick it up so I could see you, but I guess I was too late for that, too. So I'll just wait right here until you tell me you want to see me again..._

_**Later**_

_I was sent home during patrol after Jacob referred to me as a 'lovesick puppy'- how cute of him._

_I wish I had something to fill my mind with. Thinking of you hurts too much._

I blinked a few times. When I saw him a few hours ago, he had been fine...

I flipped the page to begin reading what he'd written after I left today.

_August 11th_

_I'm alive!_

_I hadn't known how dead I really was until I saw you today. You apologized._

You_ apologized. Did you honestly think it was your fault? I was the one who told you something you weren't ready for. I shouldn't have told you. I knew I shouldn't have..._

_I still couldn't explain it right, even when you gave me a second chance to. Imprinting isn't a curse, it's a blessing. For me, anyway. I know you feel differently, but no matter what I do, I can't seem to change that. Maybe I shouldn't be trying, though. I don't want to force you into anything, especially when you believe that's exactly what you're doing to me._

_Thinking about that makes me start to shake. Forced, forced, forced. That's not _right_! I love you, Claire. I love you with every fibre of my being. Without you, there would be nothing to live for, and I want you and I need you and_

_Broke my pen. Had to clean up the mess._

_Claire, if there were words to describe how I feel about you- which there aren't, by the way, because nothing can- 'Forced' wouldn't even be near the list. If you want me to give up being a wolf and just live my life with you right now, I would do it with no regrets. The gravitational pull I feel towards you wouldn't go away. I love you. Nothing will ever change that._

_August 12th**  
**_

_You came over today, again. Things might just be going back to normal between us. Well, maybe. I don't dislike being your friend; it's just difficult to be only that. But it's what you want, so of course it's okay.  
_

_I set some rules- well, your Uncle Sam did, but he didn't want to seem like the bad guy and he made me tell you. First of all, we have to keep our physical relationship to a minimum. You reacted strangely to that..._

_'Pfft. Physical? Puh-leez, Quil. You think I can't keep my hands off you? Yeah... right... pfft... whatever...'_

_And you seemed somewhat nervous, embarrassed even. I didn't mean to embarrass you. I understand that you don't want me. I'm just telling you what Sam said._

_Rule Number Two: No more spending the night._

_Your parents, surprisingly, didn't think that was fair. They told me it was because it would be hard for you to adjust. But really, it was probably because now that your sister is in university, when you stay here they get the house to themselves._

_Not to be rude, but a six foot eight werewolf is a little more likely to hurt me than your parents, which is the only reason I'm listening to Sam. Though your mother does frighten me more._

_The third rule was easy; think of your needs first and mine second. I thought that was a given, but he felt it was necessary to add in. It was probably just an over-protective uncle thing._

_I didn't tell you this, but Jake, my alpha, the supposed-leader and responsible one, gave me some advice that I will not write because it makes me sick to think about. Let's just say he's not putting any orders down to keep my paws off you._

_August 13th**  
**_

_Another beautiful day in La Push. Not because of the weather; in fact, a storm appears to be on its way. It's beautiful because we spent the day at your house, not doing much of anything. You laid next to me on the couch and painted the impending storm clouds making their way over from the horizon._

_ I always seem to forget just how cute you are when you're painting, and each time it fascinates me. A little wrinkle of frustration becomes visible in between your eyebrows, you bite the inside of your lip, and when you need a break, you start twirling your hair around your fingers. That's when I suggest we make Taquitos or Pogo Sticks or Pizza Pops, and you always tell me no, but then I start cooking it and you make your way into the kitchen and we eat lunch together._

_Food tastes better when I'm with you. Actually, pretty much everything is always better. _

_It began to drizzle, and you told me I should go home before it began really raining and I had to drive home in a downpour. I told you not to worry, I ran there, but it reminded me that since you were sixteen..._

_I'm going to teach you how to drive tomorrow, Claire! Surprise, surprise!_

_August 14th**  
**_

_It almost seemed as though you knew I was coming, because not only were you awake before noon, you were showered and ready to face the day. How odd._

_Driving was... interesting. Lots of lurching and speeding. I will admit that I, Quil Ateara, screamed like a little girl today. Even though I'll face a deadly vampire head on, a little sixteen year old girl's driving style is enough to make me flinch and cover my eyes._

_I just decided to jot this down before I have to head out for patrol, but you told me you'll come over to my house after._

_August 15th  
_

_We broke Rule Number Two- no sleepovers- after two days. But it's not my fault, really!_

_Last night, the storm finally hit. We were just watching some random sitcom when a light flashed, the power went out, and a second later a loud boom echoed through my little house._

_It's a well-known rule in La Push that no one was allowed to go outdoors during a lightning storm, because of all the huge trees, so we had no choice... unless Sam wanted you to risk your life just to make sure we didn't do anything risky._

_Your parents sure didn't mind._

_Unfortunately, we both fell asleep in my bed. And when I woke up, you were draped over me, my shirt was off (it got too hot, okay?) and Emily was standing at the foot of my bed, gaping like a fish._

_"Uhh..." she stammered, "I, uh, just wanted to see... you weren't answering your... uh, glad to see you two finally made up." She's on her way back home to tattle on me, and you're in the shower._

_I have prayed to every God that I will live to see the end of the day._

_August 16th_

_Uh... I think I'm grounded._

_I haven't been grounded in about fifteen years. It's strange to be under house arrest again._

_Basically, I'm not supposed to be doing much unless I'm going patrolling or you are in absolute mortal danger.  
_

_Oh. You're wondering how I got grounded? Don't worry. Emily never ended up telling Sam._

_Nope, she called my mother instead._

_Who promptly made her way over to La Push, barged into my house, and gave me an earful on 'maturity' and 'responsibility' and 'after being on this earth for thirty years I should probably stop acting like a hormone-driven dog'. And she's staying here until further notice._

_Ah, joy to the world._

_August 20th_

_Finally, further notice has arrived!_

_We can go do something with the last few weeks of summer!_

_August 21st_

_While I've been on lockdown, apparently you've been busy!_

_It not like I'd forgotten that you had friends other than me and you were just going to sit by yourself all day till I was free; I've just never heard so many stories about them. Winry's dating so and so, Elisha wants to date so and so, the three of you set up a plan to ambush Ruby McPherson during her Sweet Sixteen party, you already went back to school shopping in Olympia with them, and you've been going out to parties._

_Just the kind of stuff a normal 16 year old girl should be doing._

_Uh..._

_August 22nd  
_

_It definitely wasn't my mother's intent to make me decide I was no good for you anymore. She told me staying away from you was supposed to be my punishment and not yours. I explained to her what you've been up to while I was 'hanging out with my mom' (being held hostage), and she said you were just killing time until I was back. I highly doubt that. _

_My job is to make your life the best it can be, Claire. If that means making myself a little more distant for a year or two while you enjoy being a teenager, that's fine by me. More than fine. It's what I want._

_**.**_

The date today was August 29th.

I hadn't seen Quil in an entire week. When I read that last entry seven days ago, I was sure he had been bluffing. You know, just letting out some thoughts into his journal. I had no idea he was serious.

I figured, you know, I'd let him come to me. Just like his mother said, I _had_ just been killing time while he was 'grounded'- I could do it for another week. Right?

Wrong.

He hadn't even been writing since he'd made his little 'decision'- I hadn't been checking daily, but I came to take a look tonight and that was _still_ the last entry. No matter what I did, I couldn't find a way to keep myself close to him. And now I was here, standing in his tiny living room, clenching my fists in fury. Imprinting. I thought it meant he would be tied to me forever- or was that a lie, too? Was all this just a huge joke? I didn't know if I was wanted to love him, hate him, be with him, or push him off the closest building possible.

I grabbed the recently ignored journal furiously, slammed it down on the floor as hard as I could, and stormed out into the woods where I knew he was patrolling.

If he wouldn't come to me...

Well, then I would go to him.


	3. Protection

Get ready, guys. Cuz the whole cliche 'girl gets in trouble, boy saves girl, boy and girl live happily ever after thing' is what happened next.

I'm not trying to make my life sound like a stupid teen high school drama, honest. But seriously, how was I supposed to know that this would be one of those _rare _occasions that the pack actually came across a Mr. Vampy McFangsington during patrol?

Anyway. Where did we leave off? Right. I was rushing into the thick foliage of La Push to give my best-friend-slash-almost-kinda-maybe-more-than-best-friend a severe talking to...

And was suddenly face to face with one of the sexiest dudes I'd ever seen before. And when I say sexy, I mean it makes me embarrassed to even think about how other guys must feel when they stand beside him sexy (with the exception of Quil. But they're different kinds of sexy.)

Then he grabbed me (it was an awkward mix of 'this could turn out pretty hot' and 'he might just kill me') and threw me over his shoulder a little too roughly and then we were flying...

_August 30th (midnight)  
_

_I have never been more scared in my life than I was when I smelled your scent, Claire, your beautiful, exotic, wonderful aroma mixed with that disgusting, vile, hideous..._

_I could have had a metal pole shoved through my chest at that moment and I wouldn't have felt it. Maybe it happened. I dunno._

_All I can remember is a million things happening at once. I smelled you. I smelled the bloodsucker. I briefly noted that all the guys were telling me to calm down for some reason. Something about me not having self control at that moment..._

_Looking back, maybe I should have listened to them. Maybe seeing a vampire being decapitated, dismembered, and torn apart before your very eyes wasn't the best way to have gone about the situation... but you're safe. You're safe._

_I've actually been saying that out loud, over and over. You're safe. You're with me. You're safe._

_August 30th  
_

_I can't let you go._

_I'm going into random episodes of shock, I think. I don't know what's wrong with me... _

_We both had nightmares last night. I would be dreaming about me not getting there in time, you disappearing further into the distance and me turning back into a man, and then I'd be awoken by you screaming my name._

_Not as if you needed me, though, but more like I was the enemy. I suppose I did scare you._

_I'm still not letting you out of my sight. There will be no discussion about that._

_September 1st_

_I'm always with you, never more than an arms length away at any given time. I know you don't want me so close- I'm sorry about that. You're not flinching away, but I can tell that having me hover so much is getting uncomfortable. It would be more uncomfortable for me to let you go off... on your own... into the forest..._

_I have to stop thinking those thoughts before I go insane. The nightmares will never stop that way._

_September 2nd  
_

_Jacob called me and said I would have to start patrolling some time. He understands, but I think your mother may have talked to him. She's probably getting tired of me at her house. I don't blame her. I blame myself. I can't believe I let him get his horrible inhuman hands on you. It's hard for me to look at your angelic face without thinking of the vampire's right beside it, sneering at me like he was._

_I love you so much. I know I haven't told you that- in person- since our discussion on your birthday, but it overwhelms me how much I do. I love you more than life itself. I wish I could say those words to you every single day, but I realize it's too much right now._

_September 3rd  
_

_Today, you marched up to me and asked, "Quil, what the fuck is up?!"_

_I don't think I've heard you talk like that more than a dozen times in your entire life, so I knew you were genuinely upset. You went on to ask why I went from completely ignoring you to 'being clingier than your own shadow'._

_I asked why you disliked it so much, but you just mumbled something about me not patrolling anymore and not letting you have a few minutes alone to... read?_

_You can read whenever you want. I don't mind it. But you just said it was hard to explain and trailed off and turned up the TV._

_Claire, you're definitely a strange one..._

_September 4th  
_

_You said it was hard to know what my ulterior motives were lately. I don't believe I have ulterior motives, and if I did, how did you figure them out before?_

_September 5th_

_School begins soon. Your mother asked what I'm planning to do when you have to leave for six hours every day. I pretended I didn't hear her because honestly, I have no clue._

_September 6th_

_You decided to paint again today, and I watched. Instead of looking out your giant bay window, you actually sat outside on the porch swing, letting your long chestnut hair fly free in the wind. It surprised me when you kept it down, as you usually tie it up when you do your artwork. I didn't want to tell you though, because I was scared that you'd remember that and put it in a ponytail. _

_You looked so content, so happy, so peaceful. Just crossing your legs indian style (ha-ha), biting your lip, somehow mixing bright colors to create leaves that were dark and dirty, and actually make it look right. I asked how you did this and you just shrugged, pointed at the pile on the ground and told me, "Those leaves aren't orange, red, or brown. Those leaves are blue. And green. And pink."_

_I still don't get it, to be honest. You're too smart for your own good._

_September 7th_

_I love you._

_(Sorry. I needed to say that somewhere.)_

_September 8th  
_

_School in two days. When I asked where your school supplies were, you just looked at me funny. I reminded you that you went back to school shopping with Winry and Elisha a few weeks ago, and you laughed and told me that was just for important school stuff, like clothes._

_Looks like we're going down to Forks this afternoon._

_September 9th_

_I phased today, but only because you were at your Uncle Sam's and I knew you were safe. Everyone in the pack is good. They told me I needed a hobby to get my mind off of worrying about you all day._

_I asked what they would do if they saw a vampire about to kill (insert imprint here) and most of them shut up about it. It looks like I have to start patrolling during days again. Having a bunch of guys in your head is better than any other method of distracting myself._

_September 10th  
_

_Guess what I found out? That a new werewolf in Sam's pack, a Mr. Johnny Roma or something, is currently attending your highschool._

_If I paid him to keep an eye on you, would that count as creepy? I hope not, because if it was, that'd be fifty bucks down the drain._

_September 11th_

_First day went good, I think. I asked Roma for a full report. He told me that with you running around all day to get to all your extra credit classes and your million and one groups of friends, fifty bucks wouldn't cover his job duties._

_I asked him if a sandwich would make up for it, and proceeded to punch him in the jaw. That led to a somewhat depressing conversation.  
_

_"What the hell was that, dude?"_

_"A Knuckle Sandwich."_

_"What?"_

_"A knuckle sandwich. You don't know that one?"_

_"No one knows 'that one', old man."_

_"I fear for this generation."_

_September 12  
_

_Day two, still kind of nervous. You told me it's been two weeks and I need to settle down. The image is still just as fresh in my mind, Claire. I don't know how you've gotten over it so quickly. I know I'm not even close to putting it behind me. But I'll stay at my house today, and let you have your own life for a while. Much as it pains me, it's what you want, so of course I have to give it to you._

_._

THANK GOD.

I honestly didn't think I'd ever get around to reading that stupid journal! He was practically stalking me (although being shirtless half the time totally made up for it) but honestly, if it wasn't for me wanting to read that thing so bad, I wouldn't have minded being with him so much. Is that weird? Wanting to spend every waking moment with some dude?

If he thinks I'm over it, he's got it wrong. I'm not _over_ it. It's hard, trying to remember that night. I thought I was gonna go see big ol' Quil out there and instead the first time I see him in over a week is when he's brutally murdering somebody.

I think I would be getting over this a lot faster if Quil'd told me it was a vampire before he killed him. Even though he explained right after, I still can't get that feeling out of me. _Quil killed someone. Quil killed someone. _

I know it isn't a 'someone'- it's a vampire that was about to tear me apart. Quil saved me! He saved my friggin' life and for the longest time I just couldn't stop thinking about him ripping limbs off of a body.

These past entries were a lot to take in all at once, and I found myself subconsciously touching my hair when he described me painting, blushing when he wrote that he loved me, and getting seriously pissed about the whole 'Johnny Roma' thing.

I DO NOT NEED A BABYSITTER!

I guess I need to use this to my advantage, though. With Johnny Roma's new werewolf-y muscles, he's just the kind of boy who would make any guy jealous. Heh heh. Poor Quilly-poo.

* * *

**Evil? Thinkin' so. Claire's such a brat, but I kind of like it. I was gonna make this vampire thing a huge plotline, but I now have something much bigger planned involving him. Don't worry, it's not a weird JamesXVictoria and BellaXEdward love/hate triangle-square thingie. Believe you me, Claire won't be subjected to near-death because 'Mr. Vampy McFangsington's' gal pal is pissed off. I'm sorta excited to write it, but I won't bring it in too fast. I think I'll stick with this little fluffy idea for a while. :)**

**What did you think?**


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